


Boundary

by emef



Category: Silicon Valley (TV)
Genre: Boundaries, M/M, Richard is the worst, like they don’t even hug, no one even comes close to making out in this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-01
Updated: 2017-12-01
Packaged: 2019-02-09 07:02:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12882609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emef/pseuds/emef
Summary: Richard is the worst. Jared engages in healthy, constructive dialogue.





	Boundary

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to crucialandinert for the prompt and for the... like... general enabling.
> 
> Unbetaed!

Richard opens the fridge and says “Jared, may I finish your noodles?”

They’re still hacking away Richard’s TED Talk even though it’s nearly three in the morning. Jared had gotten himself an order of pad thai for dinner, except it turned out to be way too big so half of it went into the refrigerator, and somehow they stayed in the kitchen to work after dinner.

Around eleven p.m. Jared starting asking Richard to get some sleep; around midnight he started begging; at one o’clock he gave up entirely. Now Richard is asking for the pad thai Jared was saving for tomorrow’s lunch, and and they have to set out for San Francisco in just a few hours and really, this is unreasonable. Just unreasonable.

When Jared turns around to respond, he sees Richard shovelling a forkful of noodles into his mouth.

“Richard, you didn't wait for my answer.”

“Jesus Christ, Jared,” Richard snaps. “I’ll buy you other pad thai.”

*

THREE DAYS LATER

“Jared? My calendar say we have a meeting in ten minutes.”

“That's accurate.”

“…why?”

“Oh! Because I scheduled it.”

“Look, I’m really… Do you really need me there? Can you just go on your own?”

“Yes, I really need you there and no, I can’t just go on my own.”

“…Fine.”

Jared had actually sent the calendar request the day before. It was for a lunch meeting an eight-minute drive away, which was why the reminder was set for ten minutes before. Richard must have gotten the request, clicked ‘ok,’ and forgotten.

At the restaurant, they're all the way through their appetizers before Jared starts talking.

“Richard -”

Jared is wearing a v-neck sweater he purchased the day before, and the sleeves are ever so slightly too tight, making him feel constricted when he wishes he felt comfortable. It's his own fault- he let himself be seduced by the sweater’s lovely olive shade. He hopes his discomfort doesn't show.

Across the restaurant floor he sees cars rushing past on the street, familiar shapes and colours, seen but unheard through the window. What kinds of conversations are people having inside those cars, he wonders? Maybe some of them are saying ‘I love you.’”

“Who else is supposed to be here? They're pretty late.”

“Oh! No one is joining us.”

“What?”

“I need to talk to you, Richard.”

He sees Richard freeze and let his fork fall on his plate; it makes a loud clattering sound. “Is the board firing me again?”

“Heavens, Richard, no! I need to talk to you about something personal.”

“Oh my god, are you coming out to me? Please don't do that, I’m like the worst person to -”

“Oh my goodness gracious, no, Richard, I’m not.” Jared files away the thought that Richard thinks he _would_ come out to him for later. “I asked you here because I need to talk about my boundaries.”

The thing about Richard is that he seems eternally unprepared. “What?”

“Last week when we were preparing for your TED talk, there was an incident -”

“There was an incident?” Richard frowns expressively. “Why didn't you tell me?”

“Richard, please, this is difficult enough without -”

“Sorry. I’m sorry. Please go on.” Jared thinks: Richard interrupting him off to say he won't interrupt him again does not bode well for the rest of this conversation. But he soldiers on.

Taking a deep breath, he says, “I want to talk about how, the night before we drove up to SF, you ate my pad thai leftovers without my consent.”

Richard’s face goes through three different expressions, then a fourth, and then the waiter appears with their meals just as Richard says “ate… without your consent?” in a disbelieving voice.

“Yes. Without my consent.”

“Wait, what? What the fuck, Jared. I can't be expected to… I’ll buy you more pad thai! I’ll buy you shares in Lotus Thai if that's what you want!”

“Richard, Lotus isn't a publicly traded company so there is no such thing as shares in Lotus Thai, but more importantly, what if what I want is for you to respect my boundaries?”

The other thing about Richard is that he behaves as though things are always happening _to_ him. When he speaks again, his tone is that of someone affronted, like a college student protesting an unfairly harsh grade. “We’re here to talk about…leftovers?”

“No, as I said, we’re here to talk about boundaries. As I recall, you asked whether you could take my leftovers, and then you did not wait for me to answer.” Jared finds it relatively easy to be articulate when the emotional well-being of others is at stake, but when the well-being is his own, that is not the case, but he makes it through the statement by picturing his therapist nodding along encouragingly.

“But… you were going to say yes.”

Being faced with derision makes things more challenging. Jared takes a soothing sip of water. “But Richard, what if I hadn't? I need to know that I actually had a choice. That your respect for me isn't just lip service.”

“I respect you, ok? I was just…exhausted.”

“Yes, thank you for bringing that up. I also want to talk about sleep.”

“What the fuck, Jared, what are you, my mother?”

His therapist has said, many times, that Jared will probably always feel like abandonment is just around the corner. But, she always adds, that sensation doesn't mean that it’s real. Which usually makes Jared feel frustrated with his own perception, but sometimes, like today, it's good to remember that the feeling of something - like the feeling that Richard doesn't care about his well-being at all - doesn't _necessarily_ mean that that thing is real.

“If,” he says, and then stops. He squeezes his eyes shut and opens them again. “If the reason for your exhaustion had been out of your control, that might put a different spin on things. But the fact is that I had been begging for you to get some sleep for hours.”

“You have _got_ to be kidding.”

“ _No_. No, I am _not_ kidding.” Jared states. “Richard, when I look at you - I’ve always seen someone who needed care. But I - I suppose I thought you didn't care for yourself because you didn't know how, or because you didn't know that you deserved better? But I’m coming to realize, more and more, that I was kidding myself and that actually you’re just careless. You're careless and you're - you're selfish. You act the way you do because you know someone else will take care of you when you don't do it.”

Richard looks away. Maybe he's looking out the window and thinking about the multitude of people who _aren't_ in excruciating conversations. Or maybe he's thinking about firing Jared.

Jared takes a deep breath and concludes: “And that isn't fair.”

Richard’s eyes flicker towards Jared, and then down. He stares at the table. He picks up his fork.

“Is it ok if I take a few minutes to process this?” He asks.

That is more than fair. “Yes! Take all the time you need.”

They finish their entrées in silence. The waiter brings coffee, dessert menus, and a puzzled expression to their table. Richard shifts in his seat and his knees bump against Jared’s.

“Okay.” Richard says. “So. Thanks. For - thank you. For saying that. You - it means a lot.”

This is when Jared realizes that he hadn’t given any thought to how Richard might respond today. He - if anything, he was more prepared at the thought of Richard firing him, than at the thought of Richard saying anything… anything reasonable. He isn’t prepared for this _at all_.

“I make jokes about being one blood boy away from becoming Gavin Belson but I - I really _don’t_ want to become that guy. So thanks. For. For caring. For not just - giving up on me.” He runs a hand over his face. “Sorry, I’m not good at -“

“Oh, Richard, you _are_.”

Richard giggles nervously. “Anyway I’m sorry. I - I _want_ to respect your boundaries. I’ll try harder.”


End file.
